Behind The Beach Walks

I've started doing a daily video podcast over at "beachwalks.tv":http://www.beachwalks.tv with my guy Shane. We really are a great team together, bringing together our complementary skills and interests, as well as very similar ethos and beliefs.I am coming up against my desire to be improvisational and raw in the moment versus wanting to feel like I have actually communicated a reasonably organized thought by the time I am done. And becasue of my ego and our time considerations (too much of the former and not enough of the latter!) I have been sticking by a "one take" practice.It's not that easy to do.I love having the confidence to explore this new activity, without having to plan it all out or "be on" for the camera. So often in my life I have felt forced into performing for others. And was confused by the fact that I actually enjoy performing for others. To tease apart the elements that I really enjoy, and do them for me on my terms, instead of at someone else's command or demand, is part of my opportunity with Beach Walks.There is like this 5 to 10 degree thing. My #1 adult personality wants something very close (on the surface) to what that ever nagging #2 neurotic self wants. It takes attention and energy to make sure I'm in the #1 and not being swayed by the siren calls of the #2.