The Big Power of Little Things
I frequently marvel at how the human brain is attracted to big and grandiose ideas and solutions to many of humanity’s garden variety challenges, sometimes also known as problems. What I’ve learned after falling for the same meany decades, is that our power to feel better and expand our consciousness is often (more often?) tied to the smallest of daily or near daily habits we cultivate in support of ourselves.Mind you, taking a psychedelic can be a giant leap into other dimensions! I know; I did a series of physician-assisted ketamine treatments for my recurring depressive episodes a few years ago. I love the experiences and felt truly connected to the tangibly divine elements of our ever expanding universe.
For now, I want to share two things with you.
One - an energy-uplifting use of an affirmation that is tied to a daily habit.Two - the research and writings of Stanford professor, BJ Fogg, who focuses on embracing tiny habits to make large-scale behavior change.
One: Let’s take a fresh look at the practice of affirmations
Back when I was steeped in a lot of new age-y practices, I loved the idea of affirmations. I had cards and signs posted around, I wrote them on repeat in my journals, and then waited for them to take effect. LOL, as I’ve stated so many times here, real change often results from doing hard stuff, not glossing by with a feel-good meme!So I actually surprised myself the past few months after getting a new computer. FYI, I choose to shut down every night, and out of habit from being such a frequent traveler, I have my laptop configured to require my login on every startup. That means, I have to type a phrase every morning.It only take a few seconds, and it is a repetitive task, so I thought: why not choose something meaningful that will bring a smile to my mind and body? So I did! Of course, I’m not telling you want it is, but I will describe it as an extravagant expression of my divine amazingness! It’s intended to connect me to the wider world out there, like Rumi describes as “beyond all the wrong-doing and right-doing.” It conjures a bit of the celestial. And it is working on my brain in some fascinating ways.The main one is that no longer how grumpy I might be feeling about starting up the (damn! on some days) computer, when I have to slow down and type this slightly long phrase, I start smiling. I choose to agree with the statement. I notice that this little initial bit of gas in my tank lingers and creates an aroma of self-acceptance that I very much appreciate.So my updated understanding is that it is NOT the affirmation, per se that has this magical power to change me. No, it is my personal agency to consciously choose how I want to think about myself every morning. It’s active, not passive. It’s engagement, not observation. It’s intentional, not a rote behavior.Too often, we give away our power to the idea, the process, or the card. When we should be instead making those things work for us, not us for them. It isn’t fealty, it’s a chance to pause and consider: how do I want to feel right now? What thoughts are the ones that vibe me up? What choices do I have that I’m not taking the time to seek out and consider?So if you want to try it, write your own phrase. Make it longer than shorter. Make is slightly hard to type: mine has a repeating letter that is easy to mess up if I try to go too fast. Then, type it with attention, meaning, slower, feeling the words, seeing the words, not just acting out of unconscious finger habits.Maybe you’ll challenge yourself and try it this week. If you do, please let us know how it goes!
Two: Using the Tiny Habits Research of BJ Fogg
I first learned about his work when I was in a writing group let by Jenna Avery. Every time we accomplished a small writing goal, especially on the hour-long writing sprints we did together, we were encouraged to have a tiny little celebration. As in, really tiny: standing up and saying, “Woohoo! I just wrote/researched for an hour!” The thing is, the brain likes rewards. And we are available 24/7 to reward ourselves, once we kick the inner critic to the curb.I know, at first it felt silly and insignificant. You’ve seen me mention this negative aspect of our consciousness many times here. The monkey mind wants grandiose and gargantuan achievements before allowing us even a ‘high five.’ But as usual, the monkey mind is wrong.I love this quote from BJ:Creating habits can be easier than you think. And you don’t need to rely on willpower to succeed.BJ FoggHow liberating is that?I won’t attempt to share all his research; sometimes just knowing sometimes exists can activate a new pattern. But if you want more, you can sign up for his free newsletter, read his book, etc. See the links below.
P.S. I am feeling challenged to hit “publish” on this because so many little things can bring so much to oneself and others. Just like this tiny flower above, giving someone a compliment, sharing a friend’s accomplishment, and so on. Let’s do more tiny things and feel better together.Called to Write with Jenna AveryTiny Habits with BJ Fogg