Making Kindness Cool Again
If you know me in person, you would know that on the spectrum of sappy to snarky, I am Team Sap.I’m not big on celebrating the holidays, though, as the commercialism and compulsive giving is not my style. I like to give (and do give!) all year long, as I see something I believe a dear one would enjoy.However, Imm receiving cards and notes from friends afar and I just love that. I love that people are thinking of me and making the effort to show it. That form of kindness, showing appreciation in the smallest of ways, is one of the core premises of this publication: let’s feel better together. These small acts are tokens of magic that deliver a good vibe in a friction-less way. When you’re not expecting something, your guard is down and thoughtfulness slides into your matrix and lights it up from the inside.I can’t recall if I wrote earlier about a tactic I developed in the late stages of the pandemic, when we were at long last allowed to leave our homes and start shopping and doing errands again. I would thank each cashier, being sure to make eye contact, with a few variations of this phrasing:Thank you for coming to work today. I appreciate you helping me.Thanks for helping me. You could have stayed home today!Thank you for coming to work today and helping me. It’s made a difference.I cannot tell you the many happy versions of ‘shock and awe’ that this simple, short gesture has provoked. It’s now a habit, as I love this joyful exchange so much.It’s also an example of how I like to work: see a problem that exists in the macrocosm [in this case, most us feel un- or under-appreciated] and just start tackling it in the microcosm. When the intention is lined up, this becomes a two-way uplift that only requires one person to get it started. So yes, one person can make a difference, that’s a cliché because it is true, over and over again.
So on the topic of holiday cards, I decided if it feels good to receive them, why not also send them? It doesn’t make me any less hip, it’s not sucking me into the Christmas Industrial Complex, and it’s tackling the occasional loneliness I’m experiencing going on a year now since ending a 23-year relationship.Yesterday I was at the copy shop, printing the holiday card I designed. I was about to leave my thumb drive in the machine, until an employee brought it to my attention. I thanked her, of course, and then went to a side counter after paying to write out a holiday card to the staff there. I mean, I love having local businesses to support and I dread the day everything has to be ordered online. (Yeah, the Amazon beast is on my naughty list…)At the end of my other town errands, I realized I’m gonna want more cards! Because now I want to leave one everywhere I go and thank the people who come to work and deliver the goods and services that enhance my life and creative pursuits.My last errand of the day was at the county Magistrate Court where I filed a small claim against an architect I hired. While I was waiting for my papers to be processed, I wrote a holiday card to the county employee helping me. When I passed it under the plexiglas divider, she turned it over, read it, and sure enough, lit up. Imagine, she deals with CONFLICT all day every day in her job, so this tiny gesture in all its contrasting energy made an impact. A positive impact.
For You
For my main holiday gift to you, dear reader, I’d like to mail you a hand-written card, too. Just reply to this email or message me wherever with your address. And notice if your monkey mind says something along the lines of, “This is silly. Why bother?”Alternate Idea That Just Came To Me:There are so many writers, artists, and journalists doing deep, difficult work to bring us hidden truths and expose those inconvenient truths. How about leaving comments on social media, saying things like, “I appreciate you and the difficult work you do to better inform me/us. You are making a difference!”Let’s feel better together. One day at a time, all year long.