The Re-Wiring of Our Brains
Let’s feel better, together.Over the weekend, I spent time painting my office space. I find it amazing how a fresh coat of paint can lift the vibe! I mean, most of the spaces we inhabit we “take for granted” as the brain files and forgets about it. Unless it’s something that is noticeably irritating, perhaps, like the dark orange-brown wood on the deeply set windows, that are now a lovely and bright, “Natural White.” Ahhh, to be the person who names paint colors…So of course I was also listening to things and found myself immersed in videos on YouTube from Rebel Wisdom, aka . It was a juicy conscious mix of conversations raging from the healing hopes for psychedelic medicine (and the threat of capital-market-ization of the drugs themselves) to alternative ways of using platform algorithms to connect humanity rather than divide us. You may want to take the free online course I learned about, developed by Tristan Harris and others:Foundations of Humane TechnologyYou have likely heard of the contrasting functions and lures of the old, back brain (the limbic system, literally located a the brain stem in the back) and the front brain, the seat of conscious thoughts and I like to think, adult thoughts. Keep reading for a link to my eBook, The Three Yous.Think of how hard it seems to imagine YouTube turning its suggestion engine upside down, to promote positivity episodes instead of hype-o-ramas. I hear laughter from the background, as in, “Oh yeah, when hell freezes over.” I suppose some of you were also laughing when, a few weeks ago, I recommended not using TikTok. You may be right! But I value incremental progress and enough repetition to affect change.
Can we be wired for good news?
Despite the feelings of tech overwhelm, I am actively engaging my imagination in this question:What if our brains could be wired to want good news instead of bad?*I use those terms — good and bad — loosely here. The good news is that which celebrates wins of any sort: helping others, overcoming the odds, or expressing love and grace to another being, for example. Bad news shows what’s going wrong: fires, crimes, accidents, and humans outraging over pettiness — things we think we must pay attention to, for survival. But most is now waaay outside our geographic scope. We are just lurkers, often to our detriment.We know that our former human selves were incredibly dependent on being alerted to survival-threatening animals and events. But now? We are by and large safe. This ain’t your great-great-great-granddaddies’ African plains!
Adult thoughts are your friend.
So as we evolve from living with constant danger to only occasional danger, how do we turn off or at least lower the sensitivity on, the triggers that frighten us, depress us, anger us, and confuse us?It’s simple, and not easy: use the mind to question everything.I know that may sound daunting. And daunting would be counter-productive. So let’s practice the exercise right here and now.To let go of old beliefs, you have to let go of old beliefs. And that my friends, means question anything.Did you hear “question anything” as an imperative? It was not. It was a solution that says you are 100% at liberty to question anything, if and when you wish. Think of the flip side: If anything is questionable, then you don’t have to figure anything out. You can just question the stuff that arises when you feel fearful, sad, or angry. Questioning is an option, not an obligation.Consciousness is the carrot and unmanaged emotions are the stick.Those feelings are not bad, they are useful. They get our attention. And give us the choice to think different. I know, sometimes it’s so hard to do that. Fear wants to be more and more afraid. Sadness loves sitting on the pity pot. Anger feels so powerful and alive! They are so full of self-perpetuating energy.So it takes muscle-building to pull ourselves out of the vortex. Fortunately, there are thousands of ways that humans do this and then share it with each other. So in theory, there’s lots to be done and in reality, the downer emotions are self-perpetuating. The only way I know to tap into the tools, when the emotions are running, is to force my mind to step away from the back brain. And that takes raw strength and mental discipline.I’m practicing it today, as I’m going through some personal changes and my mood state was weepy. So I reminded myself that thoughts and actions can change moods. I prefer energized moods, given the choice. And there is always a choice.All of which is to say: for me, consciousness feels better, and, just know that it’s hard to get there some days. It’s not a moral imperative. Failure to act shouldn’t add to the self-denigrating pile-on. I like the magic of repetition using sticky notes. The ideas are planted in my brain effortlessly.
Q. How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?A. One, but the light bulb has to want to change.~ Psychology Today
Stand with The 99
We’re familiar with how one negative comment can ”ruin the day” even if it’s accompanied by 99 glowing ones. I’m training my brain to stop focusing on the one bad review and instead luxuriate in the 99 loving ones. Once filled up with acceptance, adult me can examine the critical one for usefulness.So let’s stop letting those triggers ping our back brains. Let’s breathe, stay in the present, and question reality — who is really talking inside these heads of ours.
Free eBook: The Three Yous
I’ve used this construct of adult and kid as descriptors for front brain and back brain and found it really helpful. The kid also aligns with our little past selves, selves that had very little power to affect their relationships or environment. I wrote a short eBook on the topic in 2013 and now give it away free. You can learn about Kid You, Adult You, and Soul You as a way to accelerate your adulting and disable the back-brain kid circuits. The bonus is making time and space for Soul You to get in there and help make some fun!*By the time I finished writing this post, I realized, duh! We are already re-wiring our brains. One thought, one walk, one article, one trip at a time. Thank you for joining me on this journey.
Updates for Mindset with Roxanne Darling
One, I thought this was going to be more about art than writing when I started it! Funny how things show you what they are.Two, I resisted the on-screen messaging to launch this as a paid service. I’ve now turned on the option to subscribe and it’s 100% your choice. Due to the personal nature of what I’ll possibly be sharing in 2023, I’m thinking of moving the Chat feature to paid subscribers.Three, I was accepted into a yearlong memoir-writing program with Chloe Caldwell. I think it’s 8 writers, from about 40 submissions, so I’m very happy to be included.Four, as someone who loves giving and has worked hard on my back brain thoughts and feelings to learn how to also graciously accept, I do this with an open mind and an open heart.Five, I’m celebrating my 70th birthday (cannot believe that!) on 12/31. A new decade arrives, hopefully, filled with the power and insight of crone vibes.
The Crone represents the ability to see, more than just with one’s eyes alone, but to see with the heart’s eyes, with the soul’s eyes, through the eyes of the creative force and the animating force of the psyche.Clarissa Pinkola Estes
See you in 2023!One year brighter, with adventure and hard fun on the horizon.
Photo Credit: Hu Chen on Unsplash