Rattlesnake Avoidance Clinic
tough love: love or affectionate concern expressed in a stern or unsentimental manner (as through discipline) especially to promote responsible behavior (from Merriam Webster Dictionary)The first known use of the phrase was in 1968, in the book titled Tough Love by Bill Milliken and Char Meredith.Yesterday, I took my dog, Mama Sita, to a “Rattlesnake Avoidance Clinic” in Taos, NM. We have these animals in abundance where I live, in the high desert southwest landscape south of Santa Fe. Several dog-owning and dog-loving friends had recommended the class to me, especially for the pups who spend a lot of time outside. Mama is fortunate to have ¼ acre of fenced land here at our home. But this fencing is designed to keep out coyotes and is easily permeated by snakes and bunnies. Alas, Mama has chased off all the bunnies!The snake clinic was harder on us than I had imagined, though in fairness, I chose not to dwell on the specifics too much before we went. It was about a two-hour drive on Sunday morning and we were accompanies by a neighbor with her similarly small and curious dog, Luna.
The point of the clinic is to save our dogs’ lives, in the event they encounter rattlesnakes in the wild.
Our trainer, Terry, has over 30 years experience as both a rattlesnake handler and a dog trainer. He went through the exhaustive steps he took previously to help dogs learn to avoid them. I didn’t know that rattlers have a unique smell — so training dogs with other snakes was ineffective. I didn’t know that leaving the snake in a cage was ineffective — some dogs are so curious they want to get up close and eye-to-eye.Terry’s method was to use a shock collar on the dog as the owner (that was me!) confidently walked the dog directly up to the rattlesnake as it was sitting free on the ground, rattler a-shaking. (Turns out, rattlesnakes don’t like dogs.) As the dog got close, she received a brief, harmless shock. This was the signal that snake = pain so stay away. The dogs ran away from the snake in quick order! For the re-test, we again walked our dogs in single file up to the snake, without the shock collar, to make sure they had no interest. Some of the dogs (Luna!) would not even walk down the little slope; Mama Sita did walk down the slope reluctantly with me (she is such a good dog and she trusts me so much), but wouldn’t get close at all — so Terry yelled, “Passed!” as she ran back up the slope with me.As you can imagine, there was a lot of yelping from the dogs; they didn’t like this. And that was the point: imprint on the sight, and sound, and smell of the snake so they know how to react in the wild.The dogs were given lots of love and a few treats after it was all over. In my case, I’d been telling Mama all week that we were going to the rattlesnake class. (Laugh if you will but I do believe we have some form of communication.) Mama and Luna slept it off in the car for the two-hour ride home; sleep is such a healing modality.This morning, we went for our usual walk and all seemed well. But I have fewer worries about her encountering a rattlesnake. Here’s Mama Sita exploring the arroyo near our home.
As a dog mama who adores her pup, the last thing I want is to see her in pain. That moment of shock from the collar did cause her pain! But it was pain for a good cause, and, I smothered her in love and affection before and after. And yes, I suffered a little too, though my job in the moment was to be a strong Dog Mom who knows best.The concept of tough love has been appropriated by some parents for authoritarian purposes, when its goal is to be authoritative. To use one’s insight, courage, and love to do what’s best for the ones in our care. The opposite in some ways is to be so mushy, codependent even, as to be unwilling to use the tools we have to teach. In adult to adult relationships, there is a different power relationship, so tough love gets appropriately expressed in the form of boundaries. For those of us like me, who see the best in others, who can get blinded by the magical glow of “potential”. setting boundaries and acting with tough love is HARD.I would like to think Mama Sita would know better or might get lucky and never encounter a snake. But the odds are that she will wrangle with rattlesnakes. So I saw it as my job to teach her what to do if/when that happens.With peer relationships, I don’t have as healthy a track record, but I’m learning. I broke up with my partner of 23 years last December. I hoped for the best, I saw potential, and I often ignored the necessary tools of setting boundaries for what I want and don’t want in my life. When it goes on that long, it’s easy for the other person to not take me seriously — I didn’t take myself seriously. I let tiny incremental improvements substitute for the bigger changes that needed to be made for us to have a meaningful relationship.
So this post is for all of us who are pain- and suffering-avoidant: sometimes a little shock is essential to learn how to survive and thrive in this life. Most of us are tougher than we realize; and the smart ones among us learn from our pain so it’s not in vain.
Apologies to all you readers with snake phobias! I happen to love snakes. Here is me way back in the ‘90s being caressed by and caressing a boa constrictor, during a weeklong workshop I gave with the Seminole Tribe in Florida.
