Feeling Better By Doing for Others
I want to present you with two examples of a non-obvious way we can raise our own vibe and feel better by stepping away from ourselves. Self-care methods and modalities flood the airwaves; many of which I endorse. But sometimes, the secret to raising our own vibration is by setting aside our own selves (and the associated irritations) and attending to the care of others.
Cuddling and Comforting
It occurred to me several months into inviting a rescue dog, Mama Sita, into my life, that her insistent and repeated demands for petting, cuddling, walks, and stick-throwing generated a cascade of benefits to me, the one responding to her. She obviously benefits from the touch and the attention, but so do I! Let’s talk about the “how.”
I must pause what I’m doing.
At first there is a whiff of irritation in my mood. I don’t like interruptions! Also, I can be obsessive at my tasks, working long past the “stand up and move for a minute” that I know is good for my health every hour. If you are old enough, you remember the brilliant Coke slogan: The Pause That Refreshes. Here’s what advertising guru, David Ogilvy had to say about it:
'The Pause That Refreshes' is not just a slogan, it's a powerful narrative. It captures the essence of Coca-Cola's appeal and offers it to the world not merely as a beverage, but as a moment of respite. This campaign teaches us that great advertising is about storytelling, about understanding what your product means to the consumer, beyond the physical confines of the product itself.—David Ogilvy
I would add, that when a slogan is actually true, it’s impact increases. What I didn’t know, was that it was generated in 1929, as most Americans were facing the Great Depression and radio was becoming a powerful communication medium. You can read the whole story here. 1Here’s another excerpt from it:
The year was 1929, and America was on the brink of the greatest economic downturn in history. Amid this impending gloom, an idea sprang to life, almost ironically.It was a slogan that would make history, a phrase that carried the promise of respite in adversity—"The Pause That Refreshes."
Touch is an unsung contributor of health.
Back in the late ’80’s, I studied touch in great detail and even gave corporate seminars on healthy hugging in the workplace. LOL, hard to imagine that happening now, but if anyone is interested, contact me!There are thousands of studies showing how human touch and animal touch generate psychological, emotional, and physiological benefits for both giver and receiver. And really, how do you distinguish between the two, sometimes? When I am rubbing Mama’s belly as she rolls over and spreads her legs, she extends a front paw to my arm, telling me: keep going. Yes, it is a bit of a command but it’s also a nerve pathway from her body to mine.Greater Good Magazine, based at my alma mater, UC Berkeley, can fill you in on the details if you want to learn more. As researcher Dacher Keltner says, “To touch is to give life.” Apparently Michelangelo also said almost those same words 800 years ago! 2I’m embedding a short video for you, too.
May I suggest that instead of thinking of our pets, our children, and our partners as needly little irritants when they want our hands and hugs, you think about all that you are receiving by engaging in this two-way feeling and fondling?
Volunteering as a Way to Give to Yourself
The second way to raise the vibe is with volunteerism. I admit, it’s often promoted to us via the Guilt Industrial Complex: you should be helping others because it’s the right thing to do. Guilt rarely works, and for some of us, it leads to complete avoidance, wrapped in irritation!I, on the other hand, selfishly think of helping others as a way for me to feel good. Tomorrow is election day in the USA, and I am serving as an Election Judge at a local polling place. This will be my third time as an election worker. I must arrive at 6 am and stay a few hours past the polls closing at 7 pm. Count in my 30 minute commute each way, and this will be a minimum 16-hour day for me, mostly spent standing. I kid you not, it is exhausting work.And yet, I return. Along with the other — mostly all senior citizens! — to do it again because it feels so good. I’ve learned so much about how our elections work. I get excited when a first-time voter beams as they insert their ballot in the machine. I support others who want to have a say in how our local, state, and national governments are run. These entities don’t get things done in the ether! It takes real humans, often working long past 9 to 5, willing to put up with the restraints of bureaucracy to create livable communities for all of us to enjoy. So yes, I am working hard for this election, but the fire is burning inside me for being able to help. I feel better by doing this work. A little pride stirs in my belly. You could easily say I am doing it for me as much as for Santa Fe.So the next time you feel put out by others’ demands or tell yourself you really don’t have time to volunteer, I ask you to reconsider the math. There is likely far more in it for you to receive than you may be giving up.