Gratitude is an Attitude
Gratitude – it’s something that actually works. Too often it’s a memo coming from the “You Should” department, however, it really belongs as a motivational poster in the “It Works” department. Can you feel the difference in energy? A thing is not just a thing — it’s also how we share it and perceive it that adds or subtracts from its potency.The more I come to understand that we live in an energetic universe as much or more than we live in a physical universe, the more attuned I am to what works, and how. Despite a bazillion howto books on spirituality, on business, on relationships, what I find I am attracted to is what feels good to me. What vibrates in harmony with me. What resonates with me. Not the words. Not the formula. Not the shoulds. The vibration — it is that inner sense of knowing, even when outer words or stories contradict or come delivered with pressure to change.Gratitude is can be easy to talk about, yet challenging when it comes to the ‘walk about’ — meaning, putting our words into action. I have preached it and heard it preached, wrapped in a lecture of moral imperative. “Good people are grateful; bad people are not.” For me, this is the wrong approach.Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” ― A.A. Milne, “Winnie-the-Pooh”Gratitude is a common platitude today and is considered an essential part of a healthy spiritual life. I tend to agree. But wrapping something so powerful and practical in a gown made of morality-based pressures creates a disservice and possibly friction for those who would benefit the most. I prefer honey to vinegar; I think you know what I mean.I offer this for those times you may feel resistance to practicing gratitude because so many people said you should. I’d rather inspire you to want to practice it, as it can lift burdens, reframe awful situations, get you out of a funk, and so much more. I’ve added some “footlinks” below (a new term for footnotes, as a reader suggested).Now, as part of the emotional maturing process, gratitude flows naturally. Not only do I have less resistance to whatever shows up, I also easily remember to “go with the flow.” I have learned that it is not the event itself, but my resistance to it or my story about it, that can prolong it or increase my suffering related to it.It’s not easy to remember until it becomes a deeply embedded habit. The monkey mind is often right there suggesting that a gratitude practice is too abstract or woo-woo to have any real effect. But as is often the case, the monkey mind is wrong about this. The benefits are real and they are measurable.
- “'Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. 'Thank you' expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.”— Alice Walker
The Greater Good Project
Here’s an excerpt from a research study conducted by Joshua Brown and Joel Wong at Indiana University, looking at MRI results. The full link is below, How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain. I just love when things go from the theoretical to the physiologically demonstrable.
Most interestingly, when we compared those who wrote the gratitude letters with those who didn’t, the gratitude letter writers showed greater activation in the medial prefrontal cortex when they experienced gratitude in the fMRI scanner. This is striking as this effect was found three months after the letter writing began. This indicates that simply expressing gratitude may have lasting effects on the brain. While not conclusive, this finding suggests that practicing gratitude may help train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude down the line, and this could contribute to improved mental health over time.
When so-called bad stuff happens now (like dermatitis showing up on my face two days before I was scheduled to give a live retreat), I now say “Thank you! You got my attention.” Or “Isn’t this curious.” Or “Hmmm, I wouldn’t have thought of doing it this way … now I can hardly wait to see what is on the other side of this!” Or “Let me check inside…must be some feelings wanting let out of the basement!” (And the next day, the dermatitis departed.)Most of all I acknowledge that “I created this.” That instantly puts me back in the driver’s seat, off the pity pot, and out of the rage machine. Things can now shift so quickly! And of course when I am laughing at the absurdity instead of moaning, “Why me?” – well, I’ve already started flowing past it. This practical mindset towards gratitude adds ease and supports the framework of my powerful co-creativity. I just love that.“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” — Doris DayI now love being grateful — not to be a “better person” — what the heck is that anyway? But instead, I love being grateful because it works. I live life with less stress and that frees my mind to be more creative. How cool is that?An attitude of gratitude can move mountains if we let it. Be selfish and see how it works for you. Then share with the rest of us in the comments. Let’s feel better together.“Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” – Melody Beattie
Resources
How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Practicing GratitudePhoto Credit: by Daniel Andrade on Unsplash