Six Ways to Be the Solution
It’s ever so easy to complain about modern life, about social media, about humanity’s descent. One good thing about that, though, is that it thrives across all generations, so we have a brief respite from the battles among boomers, millennials, Gen Z, and so on. (Yes, this is me, ever looking for the silver linings.)Today’s post is short and sweet with actionable items we can take, to feel better together. And just by reading and entertaining these possibilities, I believe that serves as a “vibe up” for our communal spaces. Let’s go!
Answer a question ♀️
Although information is somewhat ubiquitous these days, many of us are in a hurry, maybe a little lazy (no doubt justified!), or simply prefer to get a human response over an AI or a Google/Bing ad-preferenced answer to a question. This is where come in. As you are scrolling your feeds, you can pause and answer someone’s question from your database of knowledge and experience. Yes, “it may be only one point of view” but one is better than none and many pooled together are awesome. I find this often sparks new lines of thinking, adding flavor and context to the original question. Plus, it can spark a mini-conversation that may also fill your cup some. It’s a lovely feeling to be helpful and to share — especially the little quirks of insight each of us holds onto.This reminds me of the very oddball and entertaining show on HBO, How To with John Wilson. He is an auteur filmmaker who captures everyday footage on the streets of New York City and compiles it into the most awe-inspiring and goofily uncomfortable episodes! I guarantee you will think differently about how to live your life and embrace the mundane.
Give a compliment
Oh, goodness, this is the drug we all crave and can never get enough of: compliments! It’s really easy to do, once you make you your mind and heart to commit to doing it. It’s easy to over-science this one: I don’t know where to start, what if the person feels offended not complimented, am I being nosy? Etc. So I say, start simple. There are many generic compliments that you can adopt as everyday behaviors, so they roll off your tongue with ease and yet magically still make an impact on the received.For the past several months, as I read so many articles about “quiet quitting” and especially small businesses having trouble hiring and keeping staff, I developed a practice. Each time I am checking out at a store or restaurant, I say”Thank you for coming to work today. I know you had a choice and I appreciate you helping me.”It is mind-boggling how instantly this stops the automatic processing and opens the space for a little eye contact and gratitude. Many people literally blush; apparently, most of us take the cashiers and the servers for granted and they’ve learned to be robotic in their workdays, just to get through it. I say it with meaning, because, it’s true. I am really grateful for their help; without it, the lines would be longer and more people would be cranky at checkout. The bonus, as with all seven of these ideas I’m sharing, is that I get the vibe up, too.Here’s my all-time favorite Thank You video from Alanis Morissette; it’s brilliant.
Connect two strangers
I love people, especially people from all walks of life, all ages, all experiences. It’s almost a neurotic habit of mine, but when I see someone talking about “X” and I know someone who’s really into “X”, I feel compelled to connect them, just in case they can support each other or reinforce this thing they may be working on. I’ve lost track of how many email and tweet introductions I’ve created. This falls into a tangential form of Pay It Forward, not because I expect anything in return but because I feel lucky and blessed to have traveled so much, worked in so many different fields, and met so many eclectic people.Curiously, it has a lightening effect on me, as I can let go of some of the items I’m carrying around in my own life experience. It’s essential to have no expectations — sometimes people genuinely want to be left alone and no further action results. That’s AOK with me. Sorry, I don’t have a video to embed for this idea. If you do, please share it in the comments!
Connect two or more ideas
I sort of think this is a writer thing since writers are also readers who come across a lot of ideas. But it also happens with walkers and people who spend time outside. One of the reasons I love being a “serial specialist” is that I’ve been exposed to many different ways of thinking. How a marine biologist thinks is very different from a ballet dancer and they’re both very different from a life coach or an artist. So for this one, you yourself may be the primary beneficiary, by opening your mind to different disciplines and practices and then wondering how they might apply to your own interests. It’s especially helpful when you find yourself in a rut — as you are probably using the same tools and ideas and hoping for a different result. Which I think by now we all know is the definition of insanity. So, to avoid going cray cray, open up and explore something you might not normally want to do.One of our subscribers here, Tara, told me about the academy-award-winning documentary, The Elephant Whisperers. It’s on Netflix and at first, I couldn’t find it so I forgot about it. When I sit on the sofa with my dog at 9 pm, I typically want to continue with one of the shows I’m deep into. But last weekend I was aware that I was in a foul mood, and I decided to go looking once more for this show. Oh! It was waterworks for me for most of the 40-minute film. The filming itself was soooo gorgeous, but the story was “feel good” to the max. I hope you will catch it, and Tara — thank you again for the recommendation.
Be the Om
I hope by now it is made it into your consciousness that social media apps ARE DESIGNED to trigger and amplify our outrage. This is not good! It makes us cranky, indignant, short-tempered, reactionary, and yes, I could go on but it’s not necessary. It takes super-human efforts to first, be aware within ourselves how this is happening and then two, to step outside of it. But I know you can do it! And even if you only do it once out of twenty times, that is more helpful than not trying.I seek out good news and there is plenty of it. Make a point of following these kinds of accounts in your feeds. And then, pause and enjoy their posts when they arrive in your feed — don’t let that monkey mind tell you it doesn’t matter and that you have to get on to the latest drama trauma. You. Don’t.The people at Goodable have accounts all over and an app, too, that will invite you into the Om Zone and then you can share their stuff, too! Be the Om.Goose running in a foot race! (This YouTube short won’t embed.)
Don’t post
The last idea is the easiest and the hardest. Just don’t contribute to the “how dare they” and the “have you seen this awfulness?” It’s helpful to remember that you are not even required to have an opinion! You can just read, as a fair witness from a distant galaxy far off, and be an observer, not a participant. Your citizenship does not require you to have an opinion on every single outrage. You are free to be blissfully outside of the controversies. I do ask, though, please vote whenever you have the chance. That is our civic duty and may you put more energy into that (or running for office?) than adding the hundredth “that was awful!” comment. When 99 is more than enough.Cultivate the “Garden of your Mind” and you will be amazed at the flowers that grow. I just love this remix from PBS of Mister Rogers.
It’s Your Turn
Which ones will you commit to? Which ones do you practice already on a regular basis? Consciousness grows from these little deeds. What makes them hard, is the monkey mind dismisses them as trivial, childish, etc. But as I mentioned a few weeks ago the idea from the spiritual teacher, Carolyn Myss: we all want to ascend out of the pain and suffering here, but we don’t have the discipline to avoid a chocolate bar. Life happens in the mundane, in the repetitions we choose to accept. See if you can remember to thank someone for coming to work today and helping you. Then leave a comment and let me know how the energy shifted.If you feel better after reading this, will you please share it with three others? This is how we change things. It’s simple, if not always easy. I know for myself, as the writer, I definitely feel better pulling all this together.Love,Rox