Affirmations for the Present Not the Future
I've played with 'affirmations' most of my life. I used to set them up as prediction portals for building my future. Given enough time, one learns the fulfillment rate is less than stellar, for sure way less than half. Besides, our wishes vary so much over time, based so often on seemingly random coincidences, that it's almost foolish to bank on any given day's hopes and dreams.
Still, words most definitely have power.
Not so much to predict or fore ordain the future but to conjure feelings in the present moment. The world is huge and complex; it's so far beyond the ability of a single human brain to comprehend. So we use our tricks and our superstitions and our affirmations to help us feel better in the present.This is not nothing!Feeling better in the present feels good and if that's all there is to it, I consider making affirmative statements a total win. It's not easy to regulate our emotions at will; repeating mantras and affirmations, posting those motivational quotes on the fridge, all those things seed and feed one moment into the next with something that eases the existential pain of human existence.But I believe it's simplistic bordering on childish (as in a kid's fantasy to be able to take the easy route to difficult destinations) to think that only repeating an affirmation — no matter how many times — will deliver results in our lives.What does deliver results, is to feel better as much as we can, as often as we can. The hormones get to do their thing, the muscles get to relax and do their thing, the heart opens and does amazing things, and the mind attunes to signals it might not otherwise see when we're in a state of contraction, contention, confusion, etc. I believe this is partly why athletes who practice mental rehearsal can see improvements — it's a hallmark of mindbody training principles. You use your mind to help your body be prepared later.
Use Affirmations Like a Grownup
So craft your affirmations, repeat them like prayers, and focus them on intangibles not tangibles. The intangibles? The feelings, the larger picture, the generic. And I know this is contrary to those who teach, "Make your wishes very specific! Tell the Universe exactly what you want! Paint that picture, girl!"Nope, I believe in leaving the details up to the process, to the soul's unfolding, to the collective wisdom so much more than one little mind. Is this 'casting fate to the wind?' Yes, perhaps. But it is also inviting in grace, letting go of control, and assuming there's more than we can see from this vantage point in this moment of time.Use your affirmations to feel better and the rest will follow. Take off the pressure of having to figure out all the details required for your happiness. Look in the mirror in say something kind and generic — a sweet little affirmation like "I love myself."I added this update to round out support for having affirmations based on concepts and feelings not life specifics:
Specific Affirmations Trap the Monkey Mind
When we make those specific affirmations down to the last detail, it gives the monkey mind something to focus on and measure. That easily sets us up to be chronically disappointed when life doesn't unfold 'according to the specs.' The open alternative is an invitation for wonder to walk in the door on any unexpected day! Wonder is always searching for that positive mindset.[A recurring them on the Smartless podcast is the fact that the people who are always working are the same ones with open-hearted and kind personalities, not the entitled jerks who look for trouble. In reality, nice people do finish first and often.]As En Vogue sings, "Free your mind, and the rest will follow."https://youtu.be/i7iQbBbMAFE Photo by Andre Mouton on Unsplash